Hace una semana me desidi en regresar a la pintura, pero ahora tratar de iniciar con algo diferente. ese dia que desidi regresar a la pintura, me di cuenta que la razon o una de las razones por la que me eh ausentado por largos periodos de hacer cualquier trabajo era que estaba enfrascada en querer seguir con algo que ya no me llenaba, me gustan mucho mis pinturas de hace 4 anios, cuando empece con esta etapa de las ninias, pero creo que ya ah sido suficiente y no es porque piense que es necesario siempre estar cambiando, sino porque muy dentro de mi existen ideas que eh querido expresar desde hace mucho pero las eh reprimido a causa de que siento que aun no soy lo suficientemente buena para poder representar esas ideas en un lienzo. pues hace dos dias puse manos a la obra y empece a bocetar, segun a como veo y no es que desida a solo pintaresa clase de temas, pero en estos momentos me estoy tendiendo mucho a lo que seria el simbolismo y la mitologia (bueno no se si llamarlo asi ya que no son precisamente seres miticos que ya hayan sido descritos antes)tambien se puede decir que ronda la fantasia, pero no quiero caer en eso de lo cute, quiero algo mas serio, aunque por como han sido mis tendencias y la forma que dibujo y pinto creo que salirme de ese estilo cute seria algo dificil y me gustaria que el cambio fuera de poco a poco, no forzarlo, que salga solo...
Entre otras cosas ayer hable con una amiga ya de hace mucho tiempo (desde la preparatoria para ser mas exactos) le comente si estaba interesada en hacer colab conmigo ya que ella es escritora y eh leido cosas que ah escrito que me pareseb bastante interesantesy creo que podriamos trabajar bien juntas... basicamente lo que tengo en mente es hacer historias juntas las cuales ella escribiria y yo aria las ilustraciones. el proposito de esto hasta el momento es solo cuestion artistica, no ando fijandome si aremos blog o algo por el estilo, solo quiero trabajar en algo asi, es algo que siempre me ah gustado y seria genial trabajar con ella.
aqui dejare su blog :P http://bitacoradelcapitanjazz.blogspot.mx/search?updated-max=2011-11-05T13:35:00-07:00&max-results=7&start=5&by-date=false
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
just a nother blog
I have like 4 days with my blog acount open waiting for something to pop to my mind of what i can write about, more specifically how can i write the things that i have in my head right now, i always end up watching the screen and my fingers on the keyboard but nothing comes out. so i just came out of the barthroom from changing clothes and i just thought "hey what ever im just gonna type what ever comes to my mind just to start my blog", first thing in my head right now that i wanna point out is that who ever (if any) has read my blog, can notice that i havent written anything in a loong time, like from last year, and all my blogs were about things that i find interesting, things i own, things i saw and stuff like that, but the thing is that i have never written about my self, and thats because i didnt think that writing about my self was a thing i wanted to do, there are just so many bloggers that dedicate their blogs about their daily lives, and i was like, what is so interesting about that, and its not like i have the most interesting life in the world, i actually kinda dont do anything, but there is something that i can write about my life, and its not something pretty, its not the worst thing in the world but its something that has been bothering me from the last 17 years and its something that not only happends to me. for who ever reads this and who cares i suffer from anxiety and some other stuff related to it, not a big deal lots of people in todays world suffer of it, i have seen a bunch of vloggers that talk about their experience with anxiety, this is nothing diferent from them, then why do i feel the need to write it down in a blog, what do i know i just feel like it, so today is i write my first anxiety blog.
Today is 7/18/2013, its fucking summer, my least favorite seasson of the year, its to hot to do anything outside, only the brave dare to do it, well some people are use to it, but im not one of them, and it happens that i have a thing by the name "agoraphobia" that makes it harder for me to go outside, i think this is the thing that bothers me the most of being an anxious person, is that my agoraphobia stops me from doing things i like and things i would love to do, and when its autum, winter or spring, going out and facing my problem is a little easier but since i dislike hot weather so much its just so crappy to go outside, so i can be like days and weeks just here in my house. and this is a problem because if i wanna be better and face my problem i need to go out, well yeah its crappy im just gonna say that. there is an anime convention in a month and i would really like to go, but the thought of the hot weather and going all over to were its gonna take place is just a big NO NO. summer is just a crappy part of the year for me, and its just like for some reasson in summer is when some not very good things have been happening from the last years, this year for example, my boyfriends car got stolen in his job, 4 days later my parents van stop working when they were going on a trip, i lost 3 of my dogs, one aunt goy really sick, we didnt get to go anywere for vacation, and other stuff, and all that just happend in 1 month in summer, this summer, not gonna talk about the other summers before,just no... i know that this are very tipical things but i just find curios how they just manage to get all in summer time, i really wanted to get out of here, we were going to go to the beach, and i just love the ocean, that was going to be good, but its not gonna happend, not this year.
i dont now why i feel like i have to justify my self to what is moving me to write about this stuff, i feel kinda dumb, but i see this as a terapeutic thing, or well thats how i plan to do it, dont know if im gonna keep up with it, maybe im gonna write today and stop like for the next 5 months then come back with a diferent attitud, and writing about how happy i am. dont get me wrong im not unhappy, its just that sometimes its kinda hard, but eventually it gets better, then im down again, then im ok, well thats how life is i guess...im not writing this anxiety blog to type how miserable i am, cuz im not, im just writing down how i feel about my problems and how i deal or try to do it, and about how summer is crappy if you just stay at home.
i know im not a good writer and my boyfriend would kick my ass if he reads some of the things im writing (his an english teacher). well i think he is one of those things that i feel like writing a little about. last year i got out a 3 year relationship with an ex, the longest relationship i ever had, and yes it happend starting summer, then i got in to a relationship or a wanna be relationship with this guy, that i just cant stand anymore, he basically took my money for 2 months and i was so dumb to just do it, by giving him presents and paying him trips and stuff, i remmember this one time he told me that i should give him the zelda game my brother gived to me on xmas, and if it wasnt because my brother is kinda special and fear of his ass kicking, i would have given him the game. well i stop being this guys fool and stop talking to him, around those days i started talking to this guy, i got to know from a friend, and the reason i added him to facebook was because my friend told me this guy was nozumo itoshiki from sayonara zetsubou sensei, and since nozumo is one of my fav aniem characters ever, i just had to add him, so i did and we started talking, from day one we just didnt stop, a week later my friend came to my house just to drop some things to my house and she came with him, so this was the first time i ever saw jiooji, that was on wensday i think, and since halloween was near, one day he was telling me about this suit like the ones they use to protect from extrem heat or radiation, and that sunday he came to my house and we talked for around 4 hours non stop, he show me the suit and we just started talking about books, anime and other cool stuff, from tha point on i knew and he knew that in the future we were gonna be in a relationship, it was just to good to let it go, and yes that happend one month after that he asked me if i wanted to be his girlfriend (like a robot) and i said yes. so now we have almost 9 months and we are very happy, even if my anxiety gets in the way, he is very spportive, really tries to understand and have patience with me, so like i said not everythings bad actually nothings bad everything happends for a reasson, and im doing my best to be OK with the world and with my self.
Today is 7/18/2013, its fucking summer, my least favorite seasson of the year, its to hot to do anything outside, only the brave dare to do it, well some people are use to it, but im not one of them, and it happens that i have a thing by the name "agoraphobia" that makes it harder for me to go outside, i think this is the thing that bothers me the most of being an anxious person, is that my agoraphobia stops me from doing things i like and things i would love to do, and when its autum, winter or spring, going out and facing my problem is a little easier but since i dislike hot weather so much its just so crappy to go outside, so i can be like days and weeks just here in my house. and this is a problem because if i wanna be better and face my problem i need to go out, well yeah its crappy im just gonna say that. there is an anime convention in a month and i would really like to go, but the thought of the hot weather and going all over to were its gonna take place is just a big NO NO. summer is just a crappy part of the year for me, and its just like for some reasson in summer is when some not very good things have been happening from the last years, this year for example, my boyfriends car got stolen in his job, 4 days later my parents van stop working when they were going on a trip, i lost 3 of my dogs, one aunt goy really sick, we didnt get to go anywere for vacation, and other stuff, and all that just happend in 1 month in summer, this summer, not gonna talk about the other summers before,just no... i know that this are very tipical things but i just find curios how they just manage to get all in summer time, i really wanted to get out of here, we were going to go to the beach, and i just love the ocean, that was going to be good, but its not gonna happend, not this year.
i dont now why i feel like i have to justify my self to what is moving me to write about this stuff, i feel kinda dumb, but i see this as a terapeutic thing, or well thats how i plan to do it, dont know if im gonna keep up with it, maybe im gonna write today and stop like for the next 5 months then come back with a diferent attitud, and writing about how happy i am. dont get me wrong im not unhappy, its just that sometimes its kinda hard, but eventually it gets better, then im down again, then im ok, well thats how life is i guess...im not writing this anxiety blog to type how miserable i am, cuz im not, im just writing down how i feel about my problems and how i deal or try to do it, and about how summer is crappy if you just stay at home.
i know im not a good writer and my boyfriend would kick my ass if he reads some of the things im writing (his an english teacher). well i think he is one of those things that i feel like writing a little about. last year i got out a 3 year relationship with an ex, the longest relationship i ever had, and yes it happend starting summer, then i got in to a relationship or a wanna be relationship with this guy, that i just cant stand anymore, he basically took my money for 2 months and i was so dumb to just do it, by giving him presents and paying him trips and stuff, i remmember this one time he told me that i should give him the zelda game my brother gived to me on xmas, and if it wasnt because my brother is kinda special and fear of his ass kicking, i would have given him the game. well i stop being this guys fool and stop talking to him, around those days i started talking to this guy, i got to know from a friend, and the reason i added him to facebook was because my friend told me this guy was nozumo itoshiki from sayonara zetsubou sensei, and since nozumo is one of my fav aniem characters ever, i just had to add him, so i did and we started talking, from day one we just didnt stop, a week later my friend came to my house just to drop some things to my house and she came with him, so this was the first time i ever saw jiooji, that was on wensday i think, and since halloween was near, one day he was telling me about this suit like the ones they use to protect from extrem heat or radiation, and that sunday he came to my house and we talked for around 4 hours non stop, he show me the suit and we just started talking about books, anime and other cool stuff, from tha point on i knew and he knew that in the future we were gonna be in a relationship, it was just to good to let it go, and yes that happend one month after that he asked me if i wanted to be his girlfriend (like a robot) and i said yes. so now we have almost 9 months and we are very happy, even if my anxiety gets in the way, he is very spportive, really tries to understand and have patience with me, so like i said not everythings bad actually nothings bad everything happends for a reasson, and im doing my best to be OK with the world and with my self.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Kaonashi Mask
Last sunday i saterted making my kaonashi or "no face" mask from spirited away, its not finished yet but i painted it cuz i wanted to se how it looks with the eyes and motuch and stuff, but the texture of the paper is just to ugly so im really thinking about putting a layer of somethink to make it soft and with out that texture it has right now, i still dont know what material i could use, ill have te investigate about that, but here it is :3.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
trying to stay positive
I've always try to stay out of trouble and stuff that are not cool, i try not to get into fight with people that i know or that i dont, because its just not my thing, so i just dont .... but today i had to have this encounter with a guy from a groups in facebook, a local group were you can sell and buy stuff, and i post publicity of my bussines there... so this guy starts attacking me for no reason i try to like shut the guy up, but then he started attacking me in a personal level, saying that anime was bad for my mind and that we are not in japan,about my hair but in a very mean way (obviously an anime hater, or just a hater of diferent people). i was getting kinda nervious cuz like i say im just not good with this kinda thing, i was feeling kinda bad cuz im not use to this things were people say bad things about me. the guy stoped saying stuff and some friends comented things to the guy and well thats all. it took me like an hour to just feel ok again, at firts his words were getting in to me, but i just coulndt let that happend, i had to be strong and do something else to distract my mind from such nonsense.
Theres just to much haters in the web, and i know that everyone have the right to expres them selfs, but if you are gonna say something mean to some one that has done nothing wrong to you or anybody, why does this person has to do that. this really makes me think about some stuff, everything happends for a reason and you learn something about it, because i use to be such a hater and say things to people (not a lot but i did long ago) and i think today was my turn to be at the other side, to be me the one that got attacked by some one and it doesnt feel good, but well i didnt say things like this to people i didnt know on chat rooms. but what ever the best way to deal with this kind of people is just not paying attention to those people, because what they whant is that you get angry.
so if this blog has anything important or what ever if anybody ever reads it, dont feel bad about what this kind of people say, at the end i realised that this guy is just a jerk and knows nothing about me and my work, so screw him, i have better things to do and think about, and well i think thats how its best to deal with them just ignore them, thats all, and if they just wont stop, there has to be a away were ypu can stop it by telling the adm. of the group (in my case) or what ever you have to do that at the end that person just stops, because it can really make you feel bad to have some one with such a bad vibe around saying stupid things.
Theres just to much haters in the web, and i know that everyone have the right to expres them selfs, but if you are gonna say something mean to some one that has done nothing wrong to you or anybody, why does this person has to do that. this really makes me think about some stuff, everything happends for a reason and you learn something about it, because i use to be such a hater and say things to people (not a lot but i did long ago) and i think today was my turn to be at the other side, to be me the one that got attacked by some one and it doesnt feel good, but well i didnt say things like this to people i didnt know on chat rooms. but what ever the best way to deal with this kind of people is just not paying attention to those people, because what they whant is that you get angry.
so if this blog has anything important or what ever if anybody ever reads it, dont feel bad about what this kind of people say, at the end i realised that this guy is just a jerk and knows nothing about me and my work, so screw him, i have better things to do and think about, and well i think thats how its best to deal with them just ignore them, thats all, and if they just wont stop, there has to be a away were ypu can stop it by telling the adm. of the group (in my case) or what ever you have to do that at the end that person just stops, because it can really make you feel bad to have some one with such a bad vibe around saying stupid things.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
grav3yardgirl reblogged my drawing >w
So today i finally desided to make the drawing i was planing to do of grav3yardgirl, for those who dont know who she is, she is a youtube vlogger that i have been watching for about 5 months and i just adore her, she is so funny and freaky and i just like to watch her videos.she talks about makeup and fashion in her very personal and original way, in some of her videos she talks about antiques, weird stuff, just a lot of cool stuff. so i uploaded the drawing of her in a tim burton style (she is a fan of his work to), and she said that she loved it and thanks and stuff... and reblogged it!, so a bunch of people are liking and reblogging my drawing, and its kinda exiting XD. its the second illustration i make that people like and that it has been reblogged by some one "famous" on the internet, the first one is the fan art that i made for my friends tumblr about the game "the last of us", the girl that makes the voice in the game for the character "ellie" reblogged my illustration, omg i was so exited. and i know this isnt a big deal, a lot of people do cool stuff and are tumblr famous or what ever, but it just makes me happy, i need this kinda thing once in awhile to cheer me up :3.
heres the link to the illustration
http://iristopete.tumblr.com/post/31903962340/tim-burton-inspired-illustration-of-my-fav-vlogger#notes
heres the link to the illustration
http://iristopete.tumblr.com/post/31903962340/tim-burton-inspired-illustration-of-my-fav-vlogger#notes
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
painting mood but not inspired... can that be possible?
I've been working on my painting and illustration stuff for my bussines, and im in this painting mood that i get kinda inspired by some images and themes but i just dont know why i cant reach that state were im like ok lets paint right now! i have 3 canvas and i dont know if its because im like "no airisu save them for work" but i just cant paint anything, i think its kinda confusing XD.
Well first i wanted to paint some koi fish in a pond and i made the sketch but when i started drawing it in the canvas i was like naaa. then i was thinking about an illustration i saw last week of this kinda anime japanese girl with a yukata and a fox mask but when i was gonna start making a sketch inspired in that illustration i said naa. and thats how its been today :/ .
I think im gonna scan the sumi-e painting i've been making the last days and maybe upload them later :P.
In to a nother subject, i was listening to this band "world en girlfriend" i discover the band some months ago but its like one of those things when you think somethings cool, but you dont put a lot of attention to it and you just dont know why, and one day you just whant .. i dont know XD, but that happend to me with this band today and im gonna get the album or albums im not shure how many albums they have.
Now im listening to a nother band "sleepmakeswaves" pretty awesome to :3.
Well first i wanted to paint some koi fish in a pond and i made the sketch but when i started drawing it in the canvas i was like naaa. then i was thinking about an illustration i saw last week of this kinda anime japanese girl with a yukata and a fox mask but when i was gonna start making a sketch inspired in that illustration i said naa. and thats how its been today :/ .
I think im gonna scan the sumi-e painting i've been making the last days and maybe upload them later :P.
In to a nother subject, i was listening to this band "world en girlfriend" i discover the band some months ago but its like one of those things when you think somethings cool, but you dont put a lot of attention to it and you just dont know why, and one day you just whant .. i dont know XD, but that happend to me with this band today and im gonna get the album or albums im not shure how many albums they have.
Now im listening to a nother band "sleepmakeswaves" pretty awesome to :3.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Relaxing with Sumi-e :3
since last friday ive been practising the little amount of sumi-e that i know, like painting bambu (its what i think im kinda best at). i like that its a very free style thing, it doesnt have to be perfect to have a nice efect, but of course that what i do is not even close of being as good like some of the work ive seen on the web, im just a noob here.
I've been really in a kinda sad mood lately and painting is kinda making things a little better, it keeps me doing something and focusing in something productive, and for some reason sumi-e has been something that makes me enter this relaxing mood. im looking at some tutorials and trying to learn and improve so i can make something decent, even if its not as easy as it looks, it has its technique that you just dont learn from one day to another, but its fun for me right now, and i like it , so ill keep on painting and probably upload something the next days when i paint something that i dont think its to bad XD.
I've been really in a kinda sad mood lately and painting is kinda making things a little better, it keeps me doing something and focusing in something productive, and for some reason sumi-e has been something that makes me enter this relaxing mood. im looking at some tutorials and trying to learn and improve so i can make something decent, even if its not as easy as it looks, it has its technique that you just dont learn from one day to another, but its fun for me right now, and i like it , so ill keep on painting and probably upload something the next days when i paint something that i dont think its to bad XD.
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